Getting to Yes.

I have just finished reading Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Ury, and heartily recommend it to anyone who seeks to improve their skills in diplomacy.

The backcover explains :

Based on studies and conferences conducted by the Harvard Negotiation Project, a group that deals continually with all levels of conflict resolution from domestic to business to international disputes, Getting to Yes tells you how to:

• separate the people from the problem;
• focus on interests, not positions;
• establish precise goals at the outset of negotations;
• work together to create options that will satisfy both parties;
• negotiate successfully with opponents who are more powerful, refuse to play by the rules, or resort to "dirty tricks."

The book is short, and very well written with many examples and scenarios, both real and fictional, to illustrate the point. The book communicates well, and makes an effort to connect with readers in a variety of situations, and is applicable as much to communication within relationships as it is to international arms agreements.

The main point to the book is to get the reader to focus on the interests that lie at the core of a position they, or their opponent, take in the midst of conflict, and over the course of 8 short chapters explore the facets of this method, and how it works out in practice, to achieve the three main goals of negotiation: "It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties." (p. 4) Fisher and Ury equip the reader to enter into negotiations in such a way that they do not get trapped in a battle of wills, or a personality contest, by helping the reader to discover the core interests which underly the positions taken by each party.

In essence, this book aims to take the heat out of negotiation, so that both parties can walk away from the negotiation with their heads held up high and their dignity intact.

As a man who is hoping to enter the Pastoral ministry I read this book hoping that it would help me as I anticipate moderating Sessions, taking an active part in Presbytery meetings, and shepherding a local body of believers, and I feel that this book satisfied my desire. I am glad to have it on my shelf, and will no doubt make great use of it in years to come.

What I found particularly useful was the emphasis on remembering that successful negotiation is not about hammering your opponent, nor resorting to a fudge in which neither party is satisfied, but it is about finding the solution that satisfies the interests of both parties. In recent years I have been witness to situations in the church where this was not what drove the negotiation and it simply results in division within the body of Christ.

There are a great many situations within the Church which call for negotiation, and our goal ought to be that both parties leave edified and encouraged, whether it is a disagreement over Sunday School space or a matter of Church Discipline. Getting to Yes is a useful tool that will help leaders within the church deal firmly, but yet lovingly with those with whom they disagree.